FREDDY VS. JASON Rating: (out of 5 stars) Director: Ronny Yu Producer: Sean Cunningham Writers: David Goyer, Damian Shannon, Mark Swift II Director of Photography: Fred Murphy Cast: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Kelly Rowland Visit the IMDB page for full cast and crew

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Review by: Curtis Raines
8/18/03

In the blue corner, wearing the burgundy sweater with blue stripes and in dire need of a manicure… weighing in at a modest 173 pounds. Hailing from Hell, introducing the man we all know as the "King of Nightmares." Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome for Elm Street's own -- Mr. Frrrrrrrrrrrrreddy "The Nightmare" Krrrrrueger!!!

And standing in the red corner is a man who needs no introduction -- a man who has battled greats like Corey Feldman, Kevin Bacon, Crispin Glover, Dudley from Diff'rent Strokes and now Destiny's Child. He weighs in at a mammoth 245 pounds standing six feet six inches wearing a really dirty hockey mask. Bad swimmer by day, teen slasher at night, ladies and gentleman, I give you the man behind the mask, the one and only, Crystal Lake's own -- Jaaaaaaaaaason "Machete Man" Vorrrrrrrrrrhees.

It might not be Frazier/Ali, Spinks/Tyson or Hagler/Leonard but damn it, it's at least equivalent to Butterbean vs. Peter McNeely (I still can't believe Warren thought McNeely would win). Yes, I'll admit, I was excited to see this movie. After all, I've (and not so proudly) seen every one of these two dead franchises' movies in the theater, so why stop now. And yes, every one gets painfully worse culminating with one of the most atrocious movies ever put on film, Jason X. But I'm a glutton for punishment so I was first in line to see these two titans of my childhood finally clash.

Being on the shelf since 1994, Ronny Yu, who brought us the critically acclaimed and award winning Bride of Chuckie, is the captain of this proverbial ship. Now a movie that's been sitting on the shelf for nearly ten years is never a good sign for studio executives. But whoever spearheaded the effort to bring this to life is going to be rewarded big time judging by the initial box office receipts.

Note: The following synopsis is not a joke… repeat, not a joke. This is the actual storyline for Freddy vs. Jason.

**Disclaimer: Non-working screenwriters may be utterly appalled and disgusted to read the following**

Freddy, who is now in hell, decides he wants to start terrorizing Elm Street again. But wait, he's not strong enough yet. So he resurrects Friday the 13th's Jason Voorhees to start a killing spree on Elm Street and put fear once again into the town. This fear will give Freddy the strength to come back from the dead enabling him to wreak havoc on those who dare to live on Elm Street. Oh wait, there's more. But Jason, being the killer he is, doesn't know when enough is enough. He starts killing everything and anything, in essence hogging all the would-be Freddy victims. Freddy is pissed. And believe me, you don't want to piss someone off in a sweater with long fingernails. Now Freddy has to get rid of Jason. Easier said than done. Or is it…

I think the only thing that will get rid of Jason is if people like me stop forking out ten bucks to see him. But surprisingly enough, this new installment of the combined franchises is actually bearable to sit through and does provide some entertaining moments. Granted, you have your standard horror film prerequisites -- bad acting, more blood than at Carrie's Prom and a dreadful plot. But going in, you have to accept this as fact. It's not like you expected Gary Busey's offspring to deliver an Oscar worthy performance as the cop who unveils Jason origin. I can see it now, "And the winner for best actress in a supporting role… Kelly Rowland in Freddy vs. Jason." The blurb in the Trades would be… "She played a girl getting her head lopped off like no other girl before her." Sign her up for the role of Nicole Brown Simpson (cheap joke). But…

Aside from your traditional flaws, Freddy vs. Jason is probably the best of the bunch in the last fifteen years -- and that ain't saying much. But it does accomplish what it set out to do. The concept of two movie villains going head to head hasn't been seen in the theaters since Dracula took on the Wolfman. And that's going way back. It's somewhat of an innovative and intriguing idea that was good enough to spark 37 million dollars worth of attention in its opening weekend.

I got what I wanted out of this movie, and I guess I couldn't ask for much more. It's quick and to the point (90 minutes) and does have a definitive winner yet leaves itself conveniently open for a sequel. It was fun to relive some childhood memories that these two franchises provided and when the movie was all said and done, I got up and went on with my boring pathetic life. It is the ultimate harmless getaway for 90 minutes.

It's a simple formula. If you think you will like this movie then you probably will. It is better than I expected and definitely better than the installments we've seen lately. Ronny Yu stepped it up a bit. The studio added some money for special effects (30 million dollar budget) and did what I felt was just good enough to make that ten dollar admission price seem not so painful to pay. Now I can't wait for Michael Myers to jump into the mix.

And as for who wins…well, I won't say I told you so, but I told you so.

(A New Line Cinema release. Opened in wide release on August 15, 2003.)