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BAD
BOYS II Rating:  (out of 5 stars)Director: Michael Bay Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer Writers: Ron Shelton, Jerry Stahl Director of Photography: Amir M. Mokri Cast: Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla, Gabrielle Union. Visit the IMDB page for full cast and crew |
 Click on the photo to buy merchandise from Bad Boys II |
In good conscience, I can't waste the
time and effort in writing a clever introduction for this review
of Bad Boys II because the film wasted so much of my time
and completely exhausted my efforts to pay attention that on several
occasions I wanted to walk out on it. However, two sets of circumstances
kept me from walking out: a sense of professionalism and the 3
mile jaunt home (as I did not drive myself to the theater). Admittedly,
I succumbed to my own guilt and my own perceptions of peer pressure
and these reasons are pretty much why I even bothered to stayed
and watch the end of Bad Boys II.
To the reader who has not seen the film, but wants to see it,
but does not want to drive and see it, Bad Boys II might
be worth the price of admission -- but it is definitely not worth
the price of admission AND the price of cab fare. In this way,
Bad Boys II is definitely a film in which you want to drive
your own car to the theater. Although, I highly advocate pounding
a few cold-filtered Pure MGDs, first (note the usage of product
placement within the review).
Let me break it down as simply as I can: Bad Boys II is stupid.
The film is stupid because it consistently violates any credibility
(of police procedure for one and of narrative filmmaking for another).
This is not to say that I did not enjoy Bad Boys II. I
mean, I did laugh… at parts of the film (the scenes featuring
the dead corpses being run over, the rats fucking -- that's all
legitimately funny stuff). The rat sex alone is reason enough
to see Bad Boys II, and those rats deserve Mad Props!
But the film is still stupid.
Martin Lawrence (the creative tour de force in Black Knight) as Marcus, Joe Pantoliano as Captain Howard, the Cuban Granny with the double barreled shotgun and those horny rats are the best characters in Bad Boys II because they have funny dialogue. Well, not so much the rats -- they don't have dialogue. The rats just have the funniest scene in Bad Boys II. I swear you have to see this for yourself… one rat with its legs spread and the other rat just mad dog thrusting. This is not to say that there is not a plethora of zingers and quips in the film. In fact, Bad Boys II features some of the funniest opening dialogue in cinematic history since Schindler's List:
Ext. Dock - Night
KLANSMAN #1 turns toward KLANSMAN #2.
Cut to:
Ext. KKK Rally - Continuous
A cross is set ablaze.
The film actually opens up with the Bad Boys busting a Klan rally
and thus the cultural stereotypes begin. To see it unfold before
your own eyes under Michael Bay's subtle direction is… uh…
stupid. Like most people who saw Bad Boys II this weekend,
I too, suffer from attention-span deficit. I was at the theater
to: watch two characters that talk too much and, of course, to
watch shit blow up. On these levels, Bad Boys II delivers.
The main characters talk way too much and shit blows up; which
is not to suggest that Bad Boys II is mere summer fluff.
On the contrary, I was actually emotionally moved once in the film. No, not when Marcus's (Martin Lawrence) baby sister, who happens to be an undercover DEA agent, who also happens to be romantically involved with Mike (Will Smith) and on the same trail as their case, is kidnapped by the Cuban Drug Lord who overtook the Russian mobsters. There were some tweaked out Haitian gangstas involved in the story… but I honestly forget why or who they were working for.
As I was saying, in one scene, I felt the tears actually swell in my own eyes in the sequence, where we first see the random shots of the Ecstasy-slangin', club-ownin' Russian mobster. The sequence begins inexplicably via the air's POV as the air goes through the air-conditioning ducts of the Russian mobster's club and then the shot smashes in on the tightest-fitting hot pants that I have ever, ever seen. But director Michael Bay refuses to hold even this captivating shot and explore it thematically. The way the shot was executed all I can say is: "Hell of an actress, hell of a gaffer and the focus pull was just off the hook!"
The best I can say about Bad Boys II is: it's one of those "So Stupid its Funny" films. In this context, the film has a few good scenes spread out over the course of one hundred and forty-plus minutes. Yeah, Bad Boys II is a wee bit overlong and overblown. It's a buddy film and being such it relies on humor to mask the fact that it is both overlong and overblown. It's also the type of film where you squirm in your seat and pray for a quick ending. But the ending is not quick -- it's just stupid. By any analysis, the invasion of Cuba is a ridiculously stupid ending to a ridiculously stupid film.
(A Sony Pictures' release. Opened in wide release on July 18, 2003.)
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