CinemaSpeak's selections for Valentine's Day viewing.
The Abyss (1993/James Cameron): Yes, it's true, action maestro James Cameron has one great romance under his belt, but it's not Titanic. At the heart of The Abyss, an underwater Close Encounters, lies an amazingly intense romantic drama involving former married couple Bud (a never better Ed Harris) and Lindsey (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio). The agonizing scene where Bud has to drown and then revive his ex is among my all-time favorites. It's in this scene that you can truly see the love that he still holds in his heart for his dear (but bitchy) wife. On a side note, does anyone in Hollywood have a more complex last name or a worse head of hair than Mastrantonio? Just wondering.
Annie Hall (1977/Woody Allen): Considered by many to be the very best romantic comedy of all-time. While one or two films (which can be found on this very list) would rank a bit higher for me, there's no denying that this classic (and I believe the last comedy to win Best Picture), contains more great one-liners than any other before or since.
Chasing Amy (1997/Kevin Smith): Some would argue that a film with this many dick and fart jokes has no business being on a list of the great movie romances. To them I'd say, want a chocolate pretzel? This movie is sweet, it's painfully funny and at the very least, it contains a pretty good Ben Affleck performance.
The Crow (1994/Alex Proyas): Any guy that returns from the grave to avenge the brutal slaying of his fiancé and then returns to the afterlife to be with her forever, is a romantic in my book. As the final poetic voiceover intones, "If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." Pure poetry and a sentiment that almost always brings a tear to my eye.
Dracula (1992/Francis Ford Coppola): Although I often find myself in the position of having to defend Keanu Reeves (what? he's been in some good flicks), I will say that his performance here is truly an embarrassment. With that aside, this is a visually lush and mostly excellent adaptation of the Bram Stoker novel, with a passionate love story (between Dracula and Mina) at its center.
The Graduate (1967/Mike Nichols): And here's to you Mrs. Robinson.
Leaving Las Vegas (1995/Mike Figgis): This heartbreaking story of a man (Nicholas Cage) and his two greatest loves (a bottle of booze and a hooker, superbly played by Elizabeth Shue) is probably my favorite romantic drama of all-time. In fact, his obsession for the drink rivals mine for the city that gives this film its title.
Private Parts (1997/Betty Thomas): No, I'm not a sicko, I'm completely serious. This wonderful comedy (so much better than it had any right to be) about the early career of radio shock jock Howard Stern is actually a beautiful love letter to his wife Allison. On the downside, their twenty plus year union ended a few years ago, but on the upside for Stern, he's since taken up with a super hot model.
Say Anything (1989/Cameron Crowe): Probably my favorite romantic comedy of all-time. Cusack was born to play the role of Lloyd Dobler (and he's been playing it ever since) and his courtship and eventual winning over of Diane Court (Ione Skye) is one of modern cinema's greatest treats. This also contains one of my favorite lines ever. A bunch of guys (including Dutch from Karate Kid) are hanging out at a Gas 'N Sip drinking and complaining about women. We go down the line as one-by-one we hear their complaints. The camera finally settles on a young dude who says, "bitches man." Good stuff.
Sid and Nancy (1986/Alex Cox): Has there ever been two people more right for one another than Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen? I think not. This is a very sad biopic that will probably turn a lot of people off, but if you're able to get through the constant drug usage and the violent murder at the end, I think you'll see this film as the beautiful love story that it is.
Ah, February, Valentines Day. That can only mean one thing -- blowing fifty bucks on roses and waiting an hour just to eat in some overpriced restaurant. I'm so romantic it's sickening. And to close that wonderful blissful night of shear love and togetherness, do what I do - fire up the old television and throw Goodfellas or Boogie Nights in. Yeah, right -- and then promptly get the crap kicked out of you by your old lady. "But we're in love, we have to watch something romantic." "Honey, Boogie Nights has a lot of romantic scenes." Too bad she isn't falling for that one. Let's face it, the 14th is a Hallmark holiday strictly targeted for woman. So, we as men must play by the rules. And unless you're dating Ms. Butch from Manville, USA, you're gonna have to partake in those silly traditional activities that come with the job of being a boyfriend. So to ease the pain of having to watch sappy garbage like Casablanca or Breakfast at Tiffany's with your woman as a nightcap, try slipping one of these gems into the DVD player so you can both win on this wonderful crappy holiday. Good luck.
Annie Hall (1977/Woody Allen): Once upon a time, long, long ago… Woody Allen made films that weren't piles of dog crap. Believe it or not, he was actually talented and for about a fifteen-year stretch, and you could put anyone of his films on this list. But this one slightly stands above the rest. Maybe not his funniest, but his most complete.
Can't Buy Me Love (1987/Steve Rash): Everybody has seen at least a part of this cheesy 80's movie at one time or another. Patrick Dempsey is at his best -- now there's an oxymoron for you. I once met the writer of this movie, Michael Swerdlick, and I told him how Can't Buy Me Love was one of my favorites of all time. He then looked at me very funny, perhaps studying me to see if I was clinically insane of not. Then he shook his head and walked away. What? I'm telling you, it's a great movie. Just ask Warren, I made him watch it one night.
The Graduate (1967/ Mike Nichols): Trust me.
The Heartbreak Kid (1972/Elaine May): I'm usually not a big fan of Neil Simon movies (Although Murder by Death is great), but this film is down right freaking hilarious. Come on, Mrs. Roper from Three's Company is in it. How can you go wrong with that? If you have cold feet about getting married, watch this movie and you'll be running for the hills. I've never understood what "running for the hills" meant, I've just always wanted to use that expression. Okay then.
Lost in America (1985/Albert Brooks): Just rent it, trust me, you'll like it. One of my all time favorite scenes -- Albert trying to convince a casino to give his 80 thousand dollars back. I tried that once. I now only have seven fingers because of it. Typing is a bitch.
Modern Romance (1981/Albert Brooks): Most people probably haven't seen this one. But if you've ever broke up with somebody and then regretted it, this movie is a must see. Albert Brooks at his best.
Play It Again, Sam (1972/Herbert Ross): Classic nerd falling for the beautiful girl story. Trust me, I've spent my life living this tale. Woody Allen stars in and wrote this comedy that literally had me in tears from laughter. Not too easy to find in the video store, but it's worth the effort. In other words, get your fat butt off couch and go rent it.
Swingers (1996/Doug Limon): Yeah, I know, I'm pushing the envelope here with the whole romantic movies theme. But, after all, this is about guys trying to pick up on girls. And it is funny as hell. And… Ah, whom am I kidding? Your girl is never gonna let you get away with renting this one. I had to try though.
Wet Hot American Summer (2001/David Wain): Ian could have been on to something when he put this 2001 movie in his best of 2002 list. Is this a lobby for the world's only Wet Hot American Summer fan club movie site? Come on, who's with me now?… Anyone?… Sorry, Ian, I tried.
When Harry Met Sally... (1989/Rob Reiner): No, I'm not gay and yes, I liked it. So what if my dad will probably never talk to me again after seeing this on my list. I'm not afraid to admit that this movie is pretty dead-on and funny with regards to friends becoming lovers. This is exactly how my blowup doll and me became so close. Did I say "blowup doll?" I meant girl of course. You know, the kind of girl that doesn't come in the mail with a slight tear in the foot so you have to send it back and then wait five more weeks because someone put the wrong address on the package. Meanwhile, those lonely nights of watching Cinemax at 2:00am are going completely to waste. It's apartment 19, not 49, you morons!
Casablanca (1942/Michael Curtiz): Very possibly the most romantic movie ever made. Sure these love-crazy kids don't get together in the end, but their love will endure forever, and Bogie makes a nice new little buddy to boot!
The Goodbye Girl (1977/Herbert Ross): A sappy Neil Simon sitcom to be sure, but a damn funny one. And it also features one of greatest cheesy theme songs of all time.
The Graduate (1967/Mike Nichols): In writing a list such as this, some license must be taken. I am not sure if The Graduate is technically a romance, but it does feature young lovers, seduction, a rousing finale, and plastics, so I think it fits. Either way, The Graduate is one of the very best films ever made about the obstacles of love, so I am going to include it.
Manhattan (1979/Woody Allen): This is by far my favorite Woody Allen film. Woody gives his best performance here, and young Mariel Hemingway is nothing short of miraculous in a role that had to have been hard to cast. The final 10 minutes are as rousing and inspiring as anything Woody has ever committed to film, and Manhattan's musical score is fantastic. This is my highest recommendation on this list.
Modern Romance (1981/Albert Brooks): Just because it's a romance doesn't mean it has to be pleasant. Albert Brooks' dark and hilarious look at a dysfunctional relationship is sadly underrated, and features some of the biggest guffaws of his career. The main storyline focuses on Albert's unhealthy relationship with Kathryn Harrold, but the films strongest points witness Albert at work as a film editor, trying to make sense out of a hideous outer space adventure starring George Kennedy. The scene in the foley room, as Albert and Bruno Kirby try to add sound effects to one of these scenes using sound effects from The Hulk, is one of the absolute funniest 15 minutes of film I have ever seen. By the time the disinterested sound technician sarcastically tells Albert "I think you saved the picture," I am already rolling on the floor. The word "brilliant" is thrown around loosely in film criticism, but Modern Romance is deserving.
My Best Friend's Wedding (1997/P.J.
Hogan): Can't help it. I like
it.
Only The Lonely (1991/Chris Columbus): There is something
wonderful seeing John Candy finally get the girl, and this romantic
comedy is just so full of character and unexpected emotion that
I can watch it any time.
The Quiet Man (1952/John Ford): I'm Irish, so The Quiet Man was a annual event in my life, every St. Patrick's Day, while growing up. When I was little I didn't have the appreciation for "old movies" that I do now, but I still loved every second of John Ford's hilarious The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne as a boxer who flees America for Ireland after a disastrous bout, and falls in love with Maureen O'Hara, all the while trying to adjust to the old-fashioned ways of love on the Emerald Isle. Barry Fitzgerald and Victor McLaglen are brilliant in supporting roles, and just the scenery is enough to make me want to book the next flight to this beautiful land.
Spanking The Monkey (1994/David O. Russell): This is not really a romance I suppose, but it is a delightful look at the confusion of a young boy torn between the lustful feelings he has both for the cute "girl next door", and his own sexy mother. As per the title, this is a movie more about the protagonist's relationship with his right hand, but this is Valentine's Day, and I am single, so at least one of my recommendations can be made as an attempt to screw up other people's happy day, can't it? But it really is a good movie.
When Harry Met Sally… (1989/Rob
Reiner): This is the granddaddy
of modern romantic comedies; the one that all have been compared
to since. It is very deserving of the title.
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